Sowing in Tears

"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy"  Ps 126: 5

I've written here before about a very special baby.  We have received some devastating news about his diagnosis and prognosis.  We are sowing in tears right now.  I am not free to share the names of the baby and my cousins but God knows.  And if you would be willing to lift them up in prayer, I would be truly grateful.


My sweet friend, Mary, posted this song on her blog tonight.  It so ministered to my broken heart this evening.  Maybe it will to yours as well?

Praying the Psalms- Psalm 94

Jenny is on a journey of praying her way through the Psalms.  I was fortunate enough to join at the start.  Each weekend, we pray through one psalm and post our prayer and/or meditations on that psalm as the Lord leads. Check out her journey and join us in Praying the Psalms.

Psalm 94

"When I said, “My foot is slipping,”
   your love, O LORD, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me,
   your consolation brought joy to my soul." Psalm 94: 18-19 

This psalm is so full of truth.  Choosing a verse or two on which to meditate and pray is difficult.  It speaks of God, the avenger of all wrongs.  It warns of the coming judgement of the evildoers who seem to be flourishing everywhere.  It reminds that God sees, hears, knows all things and is still in control.  It exhorts us to see His discipline as blessing.  It demonstrates how God is our fortress and rock.  


As I read and re-read this psalm, though, the words of verses 18 and 19 continued to jump out at me.  Because, these words, I have lived.  There are times when my foot is slipping and whatever I do, I cannot seem to regain my footing on my own.  It is in those times, when His love has supported me.  It is then when I am sure that I am caught in His grace.  And when anxiety threatens to overwhelm my peace.  When the circumstance of our life seem insurmountable, it is only His consolation given to me through His Word, that brings joy to my soul.


Lord, thank You for Your love that supports me and Your consolation that brings me joy.  On this Thanksgiving weekend, I am thankful most for You.  I am thankful for the fact that I have been restored to relationship with You.  I am redeemed!  And to that, You add innumerable  blessings. Thank You, Lord!  May I retain my gratitude and awe for You during this holiday season.  Help us to keep You at the center of all our celebrations!

Praying the Psalms- Psalm 93

Jenny is on a journey of praying her way through the Psalms.  I was fortunate enough to join at the start.  Each weekend, we pray through one psalm and post our prayer and/or meditations on that psalm as the Lord leads. Check out her journey and join us in Praying the Psalms.

Psalm 93

"Mightier than the thunder of the great waters,
   mightier than the breakers of the sea—
   the LORD on high is mighty."  Psalm 93: 4

Mightier also than my wandering heart.  And than my weak flesh.  And than my broken promises.  And than all the ways I fall short.  The LORD on high is mighty.


Lord, thank You for this reminder of Who is in control.  No matter what the season in my walk with You or in my relationships with loved ones or in the circumstances of life, You are mightier.  I pray that You would revive me in my spirit, change me in the areas of my failings and work together for good those life circumstances that look bleak and scary.  In Jesus' name, amen.

Praying the Psalms- Psalm 92

Jenny is on a journey of praying her way through the Psalms.  I was fortunate enough to join at the start.  Each weekend, we pray through one psalm and post our prayer and/or meditations on that psalm as the Lord leads. Check out her journey and join us in Praying the Psalms.

Psalm 92

"It is good to praise the LORD
   and make music to your name, O Most High,                                to proclaim your love in the morning
   and your faithfulness at night,"  Psalm 92: 1-2 (emphasis mine)

I'm a slow learner.  It is good- for me- to praise the Lord.  When too much time goes by, I am lonely and empty.  Nothing can give me what only He can- not more "me" time late into the night, not more sleep in the mornings, nothing.  So why don't I learn?

Father, forgive me for forsaking our time together.  I miss waking up to Your voice.  I am dry and empty.  And it impacts not only me, but everyone around me.  Revive me, by Your Spirit.  Give me self-control to get to bed on time and get up on time to meet with You.  Thank You for Your grace.  In Jesus' name, amen.

Praying the Psalms- Psalm 91

Jenny is on a journey of praying her way through the Psalms.  I was fortunate enough to join at the start.  Each weekend, we pray through one psalm and post our prayer and/or meditations on that psalm as the Lord leads. Check out her journey and join us in Praying the Psalms.

Psalm 91

"If you make the Most High your dwelling—
   even the LORD, who is my refuge—
then no harm will befall you,
   no disaster will come near your tent."  Psalm 91: 9-10

The only way I can see to make sense of these verses, this psalm, when I see Godly people suffering what appears to be harm, disaster, tragedy is to believe that He will use even these circumstances for good.  As it turns out, a baby very dear to us continues to need a healing touch from the Lord.  For the past two of his three months of life, he has been in and out of the hospital with frighteningly serious medical issues.  My cousins are walking the road marked with suffering again- concern for their little one, being separated from their older two while in the hospital, severe sleep deprivation, pressures from work, and the list goes on.  I have two choices: I can look at the situation and call it a disaster and wonder where God is or I can believe He is right there in the midst of it, allowing it and using for some good we cannot yet see.  I choose the latter.


Father, we trust You.  Amidst the pain and the exhaustion and the fear, we trust You.  We put baby J in Your hands.  Show Your glory, Your healing, Your power in His life.  Strengthen his parents, physically and spiritually.  Give us eyes to see and a heart to believe that You are working in this situation.  In Jesus' name, amen.

Praying the Psalms- Psalm 90

Jenny is on a journey of praying her way through the Psalms.  I was fortunate enough to join at the start.  Each weekend, we pray through one psalm and post our prayer and/or meditations on that psalm as the Lord leads. Check out her journey and join us in Praying the Psalms.

Psalm 90

"Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
   that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days."  Psalm 90: 14

Many things have been put on pause as we got started on Our Great Homeschool Experiment this fall.  Most of these things were necessary and wise.  At least one was not.  I have neglected my morning Quiet Times in favor of 30 minutes more sleep for about a month now.  I know that God is gracious and compassionate and I do not feel guilty.  But I do feel lonely.  I miss Him and the daily, intimate interaction we enjoyed.  I miss the peace I received when I laid my burdens down at His feet each day.  So, here I am again...    


Lord, thank You for the strength to get up this morning and meet with You.  Thank You for Your grace on all those days when I did not.  Satisfy me in the morning with Your unfailing love, that I may sing for joy and be glad all my days!  In Jesus's name, amen.

Praying the Psalms- Psalm 89

Jenny is on a journey of praying her way through the Psalms.  I was fortunate enough to join at the start.  Each weekend, we pray through one psalm and post our prayer and/or meditations on that psalm as the Lord leads. Check out her journey and join us in Praying the Psalms.


Psalm 89

"Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne;
   love and faithfulness go before you.
 Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you,
   who walk in the light of your presence, O LORD."  Psalm 89:14-15

There is One who does not change.  When our circumstances change.  When it feels like the rug has been pulled out from under us.  When we suffer (or watch loved ones suffer) under tremendous stress or pain.  There is One who does not change.


Righteousness and justice are the foundation of His throne.  Love and faithfulness go before Him.  He who has started a good work will bring it to completion.


Those who have learned to acclaim this One are blessed.  No one is born with a heart for God.  We must learn to praise Him- in times of rejoicing and in times of sorrow.  


Lord, I am watching loved ones learn how to acclaim You in times of suffering.  I am praying for them as they learn to praise You in the midst of confusion and debilitating stress.  I am thankful that in the midst of our suffering and confusion and stress, You never change.  You remain righteous and just and loving and faithful.  And ready to bless us and strengthen us as we learn to love You through our pain.  Strengthen my loved ones who are reaching through the dark, through their pain for Your hand.  In Jesus' name, amen.  

Faithful Over a Few Things

His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’   Matthew 25: 21

This Sunday, our dear pastor and his lovely wife and son had some much deserved R & R.  A brother from the fellowship delivered the message on Sunday.  He taught on the Parable of the Talents from Matthew 25.   It was a message I needed to hear.


Ever since we decided to homeschool, I purposed to put aside all my ministry roles outside of the home so that I could focus on homeschooling.  For a season, I decided, I would pour all my gifts into my family and home.  This decision was practical.  It made sense.  The only problem was that it just never felt right.   


As wives and mothers, are our primary callings in the home?  Yes!  However, there are other needs (both within and outside of the Body of Christ) that each one of us may also be called to meet.  I've always been convicted that we can never convince our families and neighbors of God's goodness and love if we never step back from our own (many) responsibilities as wife and mother to show them His love.  I believe in stepping away to minister to others, we not only bless those who are outside our home but those inside it as well.  It reminds our family- especially our children- that there are times when our own desires must be put aside for the needs of others.  


God gave us our gifts to be a blessing.  When we use them, it should not be a burden but a joy.  The servants in this passage were entrusted with a gift from the master.  When he returned to settle accounts with each, he expected that they had been not simply good stewards of the gift, protecting it from destruction.  He expected that each had used the gift to bear fruit.  It was only in those cases that the master  uttered the words we all long to hear: "Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things.  Enter into the joy of your lord."  


I am not a preacher or a prophet.  I'm not an evangelist or a teacher.  I do however have a gift from the Lord.  He has given me the analytical and organizational skills of administration.  I can take what might seem like a dry and daunting task to others and break it into small, manageable parts and bring order to a situation.  I have used my gift as secretary of our church, an event coordinator for our Women's Ministry, to organize rides and other help for a friend in need.  Please know that I am not bringing glory to myself at all- God has entrusted me with this gift of administration and I want to use it to bring glory to Him alone!  


Now that we are homeschooling, do I need to step back from some of these roles to pour my time and energy into this calling?  Yes!  Are there ways that I can still use my gift to bless others outside the home as well?  Yes!  God confirmed this to me in Sunday's message.  There are opportunities to minister with my gift that He is bringing to me.  When I know He is calling me outside the home to use my gift, I must follow.  


I have heard Him already.  It is a little thing He asking.  I want to be faithful over it.  

Linking up to Michelle's Hear it on Sunday, Use it on Monday meme:

  

Praying the Psalms- Psalm 88

Jenny is on a journey of praying her way through the Psalms.  I was fortunate enough to join at the start.  Each weekend, we pray through one psalm and post our prayer and/or meditations on that psalm as the Lord leads. Check out her journey and join us in Praying the Psalms.


Psalm 88
This psalm opens with the following words:

"O LORD, the God who saves me,
   day and night I cry out before you.
May my prayer come before you;
   turn your ear to my cry."  Psalm 88: 1-2 

And ends with these: 

"You have taken my companions and loved ones from me;
   the darkness is my closest friend." Psalm 88: 18

The entire psalm is an honest, heartbroken lament.  A reverent "Where Are You, God?"  There is no neat ending, no pious but empty praise here.  Just a soul poured out before Him.


As I watch my friend walk a painful road without her loved one, I am grateful for this psalm.  I am grateful to know that it is ok to lament.  He is big enough to hear our pain and to listen to the depth of our despair.  We do not have to hide it from Him, to try to pretend that we are ok when we are most definitely not.


Father, I thank You that You are big enough to handle our pain, grief and despair.  That we can cry out honestly and lay bare our souls before You.  I pray, Lord, that You do as You've promised and draw near to my friend who is brokenhearted and save her now as she is surely crushed in spirit.  Help me to minister to her in the midst of her pain and despair.  In Jesus' name, amen.     

Praying the Psalms- Psalm 87

Jenny is on a journey of praying her way through the Psalms.  I was fortunate enough to join at the start.  Each weekend, we pray through one psalm and post our prayer and/or meditations on that psalm as the Lord leads. Check out her journey and join us in Praying the Psalms.


Psalm 87

The LORD will write in the register of the peoples:
   “This one was born in Zion.” Psalm 87: 6

Feeling grateful this morning that for all my weaknesses and failures, I can know that my name is written in his register.  It is recorded in the Lamb's Book of Life.  Not because I deserve it.  Not because of anything I have done.  Simply because I was born again.  When I believed the Truth about who I was and who He is and how I need Him, I was born in Zion.  And no matter what evil I do or say, though I try each day to honor Him in word and deed, this assurance cannot be taken from me.


Father, thank You.  Thank You for the indescribable gift of salvation and eternal life!  May I walk worthy of Your calling in my life.  In Jesus' name, amen.  

Praying the Psalms- Psalm 86

Jenny is on a journey of praying her way through the Psalms.  I was fortunate enough to join at the start.  Each weekend, we pray through one psalm and post our prayer and/or meditations on that psalm as the Lord leads. Check out her journey and join us in Praying the Psalms.


Psalm 86

"Teach me your way, O LORD,
   and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
   that I may fear your name." Psalm 86: 11

Oh, to have an undivided heart!  In this day and in this culture where speed and multi-tasking are the goal, I have been a full participant.  My heart is often divided.  My life compartmentalized into neat little boxes and divided up into a daily to do list- Quiet Time at the top of this list with its own little box to check off.  Is this what I want from this life?  No!  I want a life that flows from an undivided heart that is staid on Him and His plan for me.  But a divided, compartmentalized walk is often what I see in my life.  Only He can give me an undivided heart.  I cannot conjure up this level of devotion to Him on my own.  It is a gift from Him, so I pray... 


Father, give me an undivided heart, one that always holds You in first place.  Help me to allow my life to flow from a love for You.  Show me how to be a good steward of my time without planning so much in my own strength that I make no room in my life for Your plan for me.  In Jesus' name, amen.  

Praying the Psalms- Psalm 85

Jenny is on a journey of praying her way through the Psalms.  I was fortunate enough to join at the start.  Each weekend, we pray through one psalm and post our prayer and/or meditations on that psalm as the Lord leads. Check out her journey and join us in Praying the Psalms.


Psalm 85

"Love and faithfulness meet together;
   righteousness and peace kiss each other.
Faithfulness springs forth from the earth,
   and righteousness looks down from heaven.
The LORD will indeed give what is good,"  Psalm 85: 10-12 

On dark days like this one, when a shocked and grieving community gathers at a funeral home to comfort the family of a young husband and father whose life ended sooner than anyone might ever have imagined, I have to force myself to meditate on whatsoever is true.  When friends congregate in the corners of a quiet room, eyes brimming and voices cracking to wonder aloud why God would allow this, I struggle to give a gentle defense.  The truth- that God will work even this for the good of His children and His own glory- is not one that I can see with my human perspective.  


And so I rely on faith- the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen- to get through these moments.  And I pray that her faith is strong enough to endure this kind of pain, that He would stick closer than a brother to her and their two boys, that the community of believers who know them would be His hands and feet.  And I remember that in this fallen world we will have trouble.  But there is a day coming in which love and faithfulness and righteousness will be restored on earth.  The broken will be made whole and the old, fallen earth will be made new.


Father, this is so hard.  We are all in shock.  My dear friend is so very sad.  She needs You now more than ever.  The boys need You.  I need You.  Help me to be a friend, a comfort, a help to this family.  Use even this tragedy to strengthen her faith.  In Jesus' name, amen.    

Praying the Psalms- Psalm 84

Jenny is on a journey of praying her way through the Psalms.  I was fortunate enough to join at the start.  Each weekend, we pray through one psalm and post our prayer and/or meditations on that psalm as the Lord leads. Check out her journey and join us in Praying the Psalms.

Psalm 84

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
   who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
   they make it a place of springs;
   the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
They go from strength to strength,
   till each appears before God in Zion.
 Hear my prayer, O LORD God Almighty;
   listen to me, O God of Jacob."  Psalm 84: 5-8

Our school community has been shocked and devastated by the sudden and unexpected loss of a husband and father.  With mind and heart reeling, I am begging God to give strength to my friend as she endures this unspeakable grief and seeks to help her young boys navigate it as well.  They have all endured so much as it is.  I am fighting against the "why, God?" and trusting Him and His plan.  I am praying for her relationship with Him that was growing through the weekly women's Bible study she and I attended together all last year.  Asking him to strengthen our community to rally around this family.  Will you join me in praying for this family?

"Hear my prayer, O LORD God Almighty;
   listen to me, O God of Jacob."  

Praying the Psalms- Psalm 83

Jenny is on a journey of praying her way through the Psalms.  I was fortunate enough to join at the start.  Each weekend, we pray through one psalm and post our prayer and/or meditations on that psalm as the Lord leads. Check out her journey and join us in Praying the Psalms.


Psalm 83

"Let them know that you, whose name is the LORD—
   that you alone are the Most High over all the earth."  Psalm 83: 18

We welcomed, this week, a new member into our extended family.  A healthy baby boy.  A joyous occasion for every family, of course.  But for us, it spurred more than the usual fanfare.  You see, this little one already has a testimony of God's healing power.  One that started as he was being formed in his mother's womb.  


The doctors made many frightening pronouncements over this baby in the womb- sending family members and friends to our knees in intercession for this babe.  Each sonogram showed healing in one area but questions in another until my cousins bravely decided, "no more tests, we will simply trust God with this baby."  


As I prayed for this little one, I often closed with the petition that He show His glory, His power, His healing in the life of this child.  When I got the text early Saturday morning, that he was here and seemed completely healthy, chills covered my body and shouts of thanksgiving poured from my lips.  It's five days later and many doctors and nurses have examined this baby and pronounced him healthy.  


God has shown that He still is the Most High over all the earth.  I pray now that the miracle He worked in this baby's life will serve to bring those who heard of it- doctors, nurses, unsaved friends and family members alike- into a saving knowledge of God.  And that this little one will live out the rest of his days in awe of the God who formed him in his mother's womb and brought him forth as a testimony of His power, His faithfulness, His goodness.


Lord, thank You for this wonderful baby boy.  Thank You for answering our hearts' cry for his healing.  Thank You for showing Yourself mighty to those who don't know you through this circumstance.  May the trials, the fear, the suffering my cousins endured as they waited for Your plan to unfold be used to encourage others and to glorify You.  I pray for this baby that he will come to know you as his personal Savior at a young age and walk in the Truth all his life. And I pray for those who heard this amazing story, from the confounded medical professionals to our unsaved loved ones, that they would believe.  In Jesus' name, amen.

Praying the Psalms- Psalm 82

Jenny is on a journey of praying her way through the Psalms.  I was fortunate enough to join at the start.  Each weekend, we pray through one psalm and post our prayer and/or meditations on that psalm as the Lord leads. Check out her journey and join us in Praying the Psalms.


Psalm 82

"Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless;
   maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.
Rescue the weak and needy;
   deliver them from the hand of the wicked.
They know nothing, they understand nothing.
   They walk about in darkness;
   all the foundations of the earth are shaken."  Psalm 82: 3-5

There are times in our history when truths like these seem more obvious than ever before.   While millions suffer and perish in the Horn of Africa, pundits and self proclaimed experts work themselves into a frenzy over our economic woes.  One has to search out a news story on one of the worst humanitarian crises in modern history but cannot escape the constant panic over the stock market plunges.  


Yes, Lord, we know nothing.  Our rulers and judges understand nothing.  We are walking about in darkness while the foundations of the earth are shaken.  I look forward to Your return when all the wrongs will be righted and this earth and everyone in it will receive Your righteous judgement and Your indescribable mercy.  Come quickly, Lord Jesus!  In Your name I pray, amen.

Multitude Monday

 

Here are some of the things I was thankful for this week:

1351.  A week-long wild celebration of God's unconditional love at Panda Mania VBS

1352.  A beautiful VBS Finale presentation

1353.  The privilege to serve at VBS

1354.  Serving alongside joyful servants of God whom I call friends

1355.  The opportunities my children have to learn about God and His Truth in a safe, appropriate and even fun way!

1356.  Seeing the boys happily lend a helping hand when breaking down VBS

1357.  An afternoon and evening spent at a local amusement park with family

1358.  Our admission and dinner- all a treat by my dad
1359.  All of us sleeping in on Saturday morning

1360.  Serving together as a family to help friends move

1361.  A peaceful Sunday afternoon spent with family after a wonderful yet busy week

1362.  Remembering my mother-in-law through pictures and stories on the anniversary of her passing


1363.  A day to plan and prep for our great homeschool experiment

You can read why I got started counting the gifts here.

Praying the Psalms- Psalm 81

Jenny is on a journey of praying her way through the Psalms.  I was fortunate enough to join at the start.  Each weekend, we pray through one psalm and post our prayer and/or meditations on that psalm as the Lord leads. Check out her journey and join us in Praying the Psalms.


Psalm 81

"Sing for joy to God our strength;
   shout aloud to the God of Jacob!
Begin the music, strike the tambourine,
   play the melodious harp and lyre.
Sound the ram’s horn at the New Moon,
   and when the moon is full, on the day of our Feast;
this is a decree for Israel,
   an ordinance of the God of Jacob."  Psalm 81: 1-4

I love how joyful singing and shouting to God is a decree and an ordinance.  I have been serving as the worship leader at VBS this week at our church and boy, have we been doing lots of singing and dancing and shouting aloud to the Lord!  To see a sanctuary full of children, youth and adults all letting go of inhibitions and social norms to lift high the name of Jesus together just fills the heart to overflowing.  It doesn't seem fair that I signed up to serve because I wanted to be used to bless the kids but He has seen fit to bless me so completely too as I serve.  


Lord, thank You for the privilege of serving at VBS.  It is a joy to live out Psalm 81 with the children- to bring you praise and honor with our singing, dancing, music and shouting.  Go before us the rest of this week as we continue to bring Your Good News to these precious little souls.  In Jesus' name, amen.

Praying the Psalms- Psalm 80

Jenny is on a journey of praying her way through the Psalms.  I was fortunate enough to join at the start.  Each weekend, we pray through one psalm and post our prayer and/or meditations on that psalm as the Lord leads. Check out her journey and join us in Praying the Psalms.

Psalm 80

"Then we will not turn away from you;
   revive us, and we will call on your name.

 Restore us, O LORD God Almighty;
   make your face shine upon us,
   that we may be saved."  Psalm 80: 18-19

The summer, with all it days packed with outdoor fun that stretch into later bedtimes, is a time when I often struggle to stay spiritually awake.  I am often so tired in the mornings that I hit snooze one too many times and sleep my Quiet Time away.  Days turns into weeks and before I know it I have not sat before the Lord into too long.  My soul runs dry.  

Again, I purpose to get up early each morning and meet with Him.  My prayers echo the psalmist from those thousands of years ago.  Revive me, Lord, restore me.  Sometimes the Enemy succeeds in getting me to swallow the lie that He is tired of my faithlessness and of this pattern in my walk.  But He who is in me in greater than He who is in the world.   And He reminds me of His GRACE and no matter that I am faithless, He is faithful.  His grace and His faithfulness cover all my weakness and sin.


Father, thank You for Your grace, Your faithfulness and Your long-suffering toward me.  Revive me and restore the intimacy of our relationship and my joy in You.  In Jesus' name, amen.  

Multitude Monday (on a Tuesday)

 

Here are some of the things I was thankful for this week:

1336.  A safe road trip with the kids to and from my cousin's home 6 hours away

1337.  A week with my cousins and the kids with theirs

1338.  An extended family I truly love and enjoy being around (and miss when we part)

1339.  A pitstop at the National Baseball Hall of Fame on the way home

1340.  Wide-eyed joy on little boys' faces 

1341.  A little girl who has fun wherever her big brothers drag her- even a baseball museum!

1342.  Friends from church who blessed us with four great seats to a game of our favorite baseball team

1343.  A stranger giving us his extra free parking pass at the stadium lot

1344.  My sister and her daughter coming to have a special playdate with our girl while we went to the game

1345.  Swim and a movie at the park with my sister, her daughter and the kids on a summer evening

1346.  And plans to do it again next week

  

1347.  Learning the songs and signs for VBS

1348.  Setting up and decorating the church for PandaMania

1349.  A great first day with a record number of 76 kids showing up

1350.  Being blessed just as much- if not more- than the kids at VBS!

You can read why I got started counting the gifts here.