As a Mustard Seed

***What do you know- it's my 100th post?!?  Let's celebrate!  Details at the end of this post.*** 

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."  Matthew 17:20

I just finished reading two amazing books, I Dared to Call Him Father and Chasing the Dragon, that widened my perspective of how God can and does work today.  Reflecting on these two reads, I pray the lessons I learned about faith and walking with God will stay fresh in my mind and keep my eyes open for Him in unfamiliar places.

I Dared to Call Him Father has the subtitle The Miraculous Story of a Women's Encounter with God, and that it was!  In it, Bilquis Sheik, a well to do, divorced Muslim woman in Pakistan first comes "face to face" with Jesus through a series of dreams and supernatural experiences.  She decides to find out more out this Jesus and begins to study the Bible side by side with the Koran to decipher which is truth.  I Dared to Call Him Father is Sheik's autobiography and her testimony spills onto the pages with beauty and palpable imagery making it difficult for the reader to tear away from the story.  When the last page had been turned, I found myself asking God to open my eyes so that I can see Him more clearly and that I might know His power more vividly.

Chasing the Dragon: One Woman's Struggle Against the Darkness of Hong Kong's Drug Dens was the perfect follow up read.  In the book, Jackie Pullinger describes her transformation from a nominal Christian young woman living in middle class England to an empowered, zealous lover of and evangelist to the desperate inhabitants of Hong Kong's infamous Walled City.  Again, I found myself unable to put this thrilling story of God's saving power down.  Pullinger skillfully tells the story of God's ability to reach the destitute and His immediate acceptance of their simple faith.  In everyday language and vivid descriptions of locations and events, she describes how countless people without any prior knowledge of doctrine or theology simply accepted the Lord and immediately received deliverance from drugs and His gifts of the Spirit.  Men who had never uttered a prayer immediately spoke in tongues upon conversion.  Those who had never heard a word of Scripture, could offer interpretations of tongues that were word for word from the Word.  Pullinger naturally and artfully weaves scripture throughout her story with footnotes referencing the verses so that the reader can refer to them later.  As I closed this wonderful book late one night, I again asked God for simple faith in Him and His power.

I live what seems like a complicated life- one with little room for quiet, stillness, simplicity.  I live in a complicated culture- one which demands my time, attention and intellect.  Even my spiritual life is filled- Sunday services, personal Bible study and prayer, group Bible study, blog reading about spiritual matters,  prayer boards and more!  All of these things are good and do serve to draw me into the presence and knowledge of the Lord.  But there was something about both of these stories that spoke to me, reminding me that sometimes all one needs is faith as small a mustard seed and mountains will move!  I was also reminded that God is, by definition, supernatural.  And He reserves the right to act in supernatural ways.  If I am not seeing the supernatural in my walk with Him, perhaps I need a "smaller" faith.

***To celebrate my 100th post, I am going to give away a copy of one of the two books mentioned in this post (your choice) to one of you!  All you have to do is leave a comment on this post.  If you are comfortable, please share your thoughts about mountain moving, small faith!  That is, if there is anyone out there :)  I will use the highly scientific 'pull a name out of the hat method' to choose the winner- that is if there is more than one commenter :)  I will leave the comments open for a week and draw the winner next Thursday, June 10th.***

BookSneeze Review of Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy

"First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out-
because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out-
because I was not a Trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out-
because I was not a Jew.
And then they came for me-
and there was no one left to speak for me."  

These words were penned by Martin Niemoller after eight years of imprisonment in the concentration camps of Adolf Hitler.  Dietrich Bonhoeffer was among the first Christian pastors in Hitler's germany to speak out for the Jews, for the Truth, for Jesus in the midst of arguably history's most evil times.

Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy by Eric Metaxas is principally an exhaustive biography of the iconic Christian pastor who dared stand against the Third Reich- even unto death.  But Bonhoeffer is also much more than a biography of a man.  In detailing Bonhoeffer's life, Metaxas gives the reader a window into the events and worldview that led to the rise of Hitler and the willingness of the German people to follow him until it was too late.  The peace terms for Germany after WWI, laid out in the Treaty of Versailles, were harsh and humiliating.  When Hitler rose to power, the German people were ripe for a leader who would be able to restore pride to the Fatherland.  Even when some of Hitler's vile tactics and ideologies were becoming known, many Germans were willing to close their eyes to the truth and laud Hitler as the one who was saving Germany.

We are also allowed glimpses into Bonhoeffer's own heart through journal entries and letters to family, personal friends and his fiance.  To read the doubts and wonderings of a man who ultimately trusted God and acted in accordance with His plan was, for me, inspiring.  For example, as he sailed away from his homeland in May of 1939 to America in order to avoid putting the Confessing Church in the crosshairs of the Nazis by refusing to serve if drafted, he penned these words to his friend and confidant Bethge, clearly wishing He had heard definitively from God about his decision: "If only the doubts about my course had been overcome."  He goes on in the letter, "So too one day we shall see quite clearly into the depths of the divine heart...and see a name: Jesus Christ."  Bonhoeffer was, like I am, a human being whose heart at times was unsure but who was willing to take God at His word.  If he could not see clearly now, he was sure he would see in eternity!  Is this not the Christian walk?  Paul spoke similarly in 1 Corinthians 13:12, "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."  Yes, Bonhoeffer was great and he was also just a man in need of God's constant grace and guidance.  

In Bonhoeffer, Metaxas also whets the reader's appetite for further study of Bonhoeffer's teachings and theology. We learn how the ordinands in the Confessing Church were instructed not only in doctrine but discipled into lives of devotion to Christ through the practices of Scripture memorization and meditation, confession one to another, and prayer- all practices that Bonhoeffer instituted at the outlawed seminaries he oversaw.  We hear how he uses orthodox theology to wrestle with (and help others do the same) the monstrous situation in which they found themselves.  Metaxas does a splendid job describing Bonhoeffer's wrestling with the idea of truth, for example, as he retells the process by which Bonhoeffer rejects the "easy religious legalism of never telling a lie" and enters into a deception that "stemmed not from a cavalier attitude toward the truth, but from a respect for the truth that was (so) deep."  I really enjoyed Metaxas' forays into Bonhoeffer's teachings and writings.  I was challenged to think deeper about God and His ways than I have done in the past.  I am eager to read some of Bonhoeffer's original works such as Life Together and Discipleship.  

The final chapters of Bonhoeffer are fast moving and full of detail and intrigue about the Resistance movement within Germany, of which Bonhoeffer was a major player.  Bonhoeffer's engagement to Maria von Wedemeyer and their relationship is also explored in these chapters.  As I read their love letters to one another, another book went on my list for future reading.  The details around Bonhoeffer's arrest, imprisonment and eventual murder lend the reader more insight into just who this man was.  The final chapter of Bonhoeffer is aptly entitled "On the Road to Freedom."  Metaxas explains, "We know that Bonhoeffer thought of death as the last station on the road to freedom."  As a pastor in London years before his execution by the Nazi's Bonhoeffer had himself preached in a sermon, "No one has yet believed in God and the kingdom of God, no one has yet heard about the realm of the resurrected and not been homesick from that hour, waiting and looking forward joyfully to being released from bodily existence."

As I stated at the beginning, Bonhoeffer is an exhaustive biography and it did take me quite some time to finish it.  It was always interesting and well written.  I am so glad I persevered because it has truly expanded my view of God and enriched my walk with Him.  I highly recommend you take the time to read it.  

***I wrote this review after reading Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy by Eric Metaxas.  I received a free copy of this book from the publisher as a part of the BookSneeze program for bloggers.  In return for the free book, I agreed to write a review and post it on my blog as well as a consumer website.  My review is my honest opinion of the book.  ***

How Sean Hannity Led Me to the Lord- Part Three

Read Part One here.

And Part Two here.

We made an appointment with the pastor at the church we had been attending.  We brought him our questions and he asked if we could set another time to meet when he could answer our questions and give us some literature.  So, we made plans to have him over for dinner.  That morning, I cleaned and shopped and cooked and cleaned some more- all the while trying to pacify my high needs baby who hardly napped.  T came home early and we waited and waited and waited some more.  But the doorbell never rang.  He never came and never called!At the time, we were very disappointed that a man of God, a pastor of a church, would take his responsibilities to us so lightly.  Looking back, I can see that God arranged all this.  This man's answer and our respect for his position in the church we grew up in would have, quite probably, been a stumbling block in our quest for the Truth.  We would have been content to accept his answers instead of searching Him out for ourselves.  When we called to inquire about him, we were told that he had been called out of town for a family emergency.  To say we were disappointed that we had not even received a phone call to notify us he would not be coming was an understatement.  And he never did call us when he returned, either.  We had slipped right off his radar and it left a bad taste in our mouths. 

We were ready for something and someplace new.  At the suggestion of my cousin, we found a local non-denominational, bible teaching church.  We made an appointment to meet with the pastor.  He still jokes about how we "interviewed" him before we even went to a Sunday service.  We had lots of big questions for him- like how can we know the Bible is true? how is this biblical Christianity different from the one presented in the denomination we grew up in?  And plenty of silly, little questions- like can Christians dance?  Pastor Charlie was patient and funny and kind.  He was, what I now understand to be, filled with the Holy Spirit and desperate to show God's grace to those who inquired about Him.  He explained that it is the Bible, the Word of God, that is the only infallible source of Truth.  And that the Bible clearly and consistently states that you must be born again through faith in Jesus Christ to be saved.  He pointed us to passages in John 3 as well as John 14: 6 and Ephesians 2:8, for starters.  Pastor Charlie explained that it is not a matter of living as best you can and hoping it is enough in the end but rather the message is that no one could or will ever be good enough to make it into Heaven on their own.  The only way is through Jesus.  T and I had heard all this before from my cousins.  We were still not sure if this was the Truth but after our “interview,” we were open to continuing to seek it out.    

We decided to give Pastor Charlie’s church a try and went to service the next Sunday.  And the next.  And the next.  On that third Sunday, when Pastor Charlie gave the invitation to ask Jesus to forgive your sin and become the Lord of your life, both Tom and I responded in the privacy of our hearts, unbeknownst to one other!  This moment was the culmination of years of wondering and a few months of true, whole hearted seeking.  The Bible says in Jeremiah 29:13 “You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with your whole heart.”  And that promise came to pass in that moment when we decided to believe that sin was serious- it was, in fact, deadly.  We had heard the Truth enough- that was the moment we believed it- that apart from Jesus, we could have no forgiveness for our sins.  He was the One who died in our stead.  He also rose again on the third day giving us the assurance of everlasting life.  The decision to accept the free gift of salvation was ours to make and, by His grace, we made it in the same moment.

When we were driving home, I sheepishly admitted to praying the prayer to receive Jesus and was overjoyed to hear Tom had done so, too.  A few months later, we were baptized on the same day, one after the other, with friends and family looking on.

Eight years later, I can hardly imagine life without Him.  I am so thankful that He chose to call both Tom and I to Him at the same time as I have watched many friends walk a hard road with unbelieving spouses.  He has changed my life in so many ways, in every area possible.  I now know my purpose on this earth- to know and worship my God.  He’s given me a passion for Him- I want to please God and, in His power, to turn away from sin.  I have a new way of looking at the world- everything I see and hear and experience is filtered through the Truth of God’s Word and His promises.  I still have weakness and human emotions.  I still struggle and wrestle with many things, including suffering and poverty and evil.  But I also have peace- I understand and believe that God is working all things together for our good and His glory.  I know Who to go to when I am afraid, depressed, angry.  I know I am not alone.  I have a personal relationship with the one, true and living God!  No longer do I worry about traditions and what man says I must do or not do.  I have freedom to follow Him as He leads me through His Word and through prayer.  As far as relationships go, my husband tells me that I am a more patient person who responds less out of anger.  I’m a better listener and we have a more peaceful home.         

He still is changing me- transforming me into the image of His Son.  But in my first steps from darkness to light, from blindness to sight, I had an unlikely guide whose worldview, so opposite of my own, caused my first questioning of my own values and how I developed them.  Eventually, all I once held dear, now I count as loss.  Oh, but what I have gained! 

How Sean Hannity Led me to the Lord- Part Two

Read Part One here.

...  And God used him to slowly transform me by the renewing of my mind.  I began to wonder if maybe there really were some moral absolutes in this life.  I realized that a conservative world view could be formed logically and intelligently.  All this truly paved the way for me to eventually see the truth and accept a biblical world view.
 
I began to question my beliefs- both religious and secular/political- and why I held them.  When I looked at many of my beliefs logically and analytically, they just weren't holding water anymore.  Of course, my boyfriend (who would later become my husband) and I would discuss all my musings.  While he was always more politically moderate to conservative than I, we both were unsure of our "religious" beliefs.  

Lots more life happened.  T and I got engaged.  We began attending church together in the denomination we had grown up in.  We got married, had a baby and bought a house in a new area.  We church hopped in our area within the same denomination but could not find a church we called home.  We watched as our nation was brought to its knees on 9/11/01.  Time marched on but the nagging questions remained.

At some point, we had heard enough about the Bible from my cousin and her husband that we were both questioning where we stood with God and what exactly was "the truth."  I remember vividly T and I sitting in the parking lot of our local movie theater, killing time and chatting before going in to see a film, and deciding that we would try to get some of our questions answered.  We decided that we would seek after the truth, if it could be known, no matter where it led us.

We made an appointment with the pastor at the local church we had been attending.  We brought him our questions and he asked if we could set another time to meet when he could answer our questions and give us some literature.  So, we made plans to have him over for dinner.  That morning, I cleaned and shopped and cooked and cleaned some more- all while trying to pacify my high needs baby who hardly napped.  T came home early and we waited and waited and waited some more.  But the doorbell never rang.  He never came and never called.  When we called to inquire about him...

Part III

How Sean Hannity Led Me to the Lord- Part One

Yep, you read that right.  I realize that Sean Hannity is an unlikely evangelist, but when I think back on my conversion experience, I must say that it definitely got traction in my car, on my daily commute, during a 90 minute portion of a talk radio show.

To start, I should back up a little, I think.  As I have mentioned before, I grew up in a mainline Christian denomination.  I went to Christian schools from Kindergarten through college.  I participated in all the rites of passage of my church.  I knew who God was and I believed in Him.  My faith was on my terms, though, and I rejected most of the teachings of my church.  I believed He was not really concerned with sin; that as long as you were a basically good person, He was happy.  I thought His Word was for readings at church but did not apply to how I lived my life.  In the arena of politics, I was ultra liberal.  "Live and let live!" (as long as no one was getting hurt- unborn babies very much excluded) was my motto.

Then one of my cousins became a Christian.  And she told everyone.  And I rolled my eyes and sucked my teeth, offended that she considered herself a Christian and, in doing so, insinuated that maybe the rest of us weren't!  Sheesh, I was born a Christian... wasn't I?  All the same, I loved my cousin and her sweet, funny husband.  And I could not deny that there was something sweet and joyful and special about them- something intangible- something I quietly envied.

Then lots of life happened.  I lived the single life, met my future husband and worked hard at my career.  Eventually, I landed a new and better job.  It was a 90 minute commute each way.  FM radio quickly got boring and I turned to the AM dial for entertainment.  I stumbled upon the Sean Hannity show at some point and while I disagreed with him on almost all points, I appreciated his intellectual honesty, his consistency and the respectful attitude he had when debating a caller, guest or issue.

And God used him to slowly transform me by the renewing of my mind.  I began to wonder if maybe there really were some moral absolutes in this life.  I realized that a conservative world view could be formed logically and intelligently.  All this truly paved the way for me...

Part II
Part III

What's for Dinner?

I watched a film from Netflix the other night and have not been able to stop thinking about it since then. It was a documentary, actually, called Food, Inc. Before I get into my musings about the film, here's something you should know about me so that you can understand the context of my thoughts about the movie. I am very conservative, politically and ideologically, so I often view any movie with even a hint of liberalism with a wary eye. (Not saying that is the best way to approach things- just that it is true for me.) The premise of Food, Inc. is to investigate what is in the food we eat and how that food gets to the supermarket shelves. Because such a topic is wrought with controversial issues ranging from health concerns to politics to immigration violations to the environment, I expected to be inundated with overt and gratuitous bashing of big business, and radical environmental and animal rights agendas. While these issues do emerge in the film, I was very pleasantly surprised to see that they were raised only as they were relevant to the focus of the film, did not seem gratuitous and never overshadowed the main subject matter.

So, as I mentioned earlier, the premise of the film is to investigate what is in the food we eat and how that food gets to the supermarket shelves. It describes how most processed food found on supermarket shelves are made primarily from corn and it's chemical by-products. That's not so bad when you consider that corn is a vegetable. Sure, it is deceiving when you grab a box off the supermarket shelf with the intention of simply buying "mashed potatoes." And it was interesting to learn that the addition of corn and it's by-products to just about everything we eat has changed our taste preferences. The real thing, the whole food, just doesn't taste as good. So, while I was a bit surprised to learn this, I was not really alarmed.

It wasn't until the film began to delve into the way that meat and poultry go from animal to a product in the meat department of the local supermarket did my concern begin to mount. When I learned that 80% of the beef found in supermarkets today are processed by 4 beef companies and that their biggest customer, by far, is Mc Donald's corporation, I knew things were about to get interesting. (Please don't misunderstand me, I love me some Mc Donald's as much as any other red-blooded American!) Because McDonald's wants their hamburgers to be cheap and to taste the same no matter where in the world they are being sold, the beef companies have created a fool proof system to bring an inexpensive and tasty product to market. And they use this system on ALL their beef, not just the beef produced for Mc Donald's. In short, cows live in feeding pens where they are literally on top of one another and knee deep in manure. As a result, they are more susceptible to disease. They are fed corn and other grains not grass, the sustenance they were created to ingest and digest. Their digestive tract and its natural processes are therefore interrupted so the cows are more likely to harbor disease rather than clear their system of it naturally as they would more likely do with a grass diet. After the cows are slaughtered, the meat is all processed together so a product such a ground beef will always contain meat from many different cows. Finally, some companies "wash" the processed meat in ammonia to rid it of E. coli and other bacteria and disease. I was flabbergasted and horrified. I really did not know any of this.

Food, Inc. goes on to describe the process for chicken and pork as well. I'll leave that for you to discover after you rent the movie :) It also delves into the organic industry and how was birthed and has grown.

As I have thought about the content of the film these past few days, I've done a little research at my local meat market and online. I have found that making the switch from supermarket beef, for example, to grass fed, free range, organic beef won't be easy on our time or pocketbook. I am on a mission, however, to learn more and hopefully find better alternatives for our family. I'd love to hear if you have found some good ones!

Loosening the Grip

My husband and I recently decided to allow our eight year old son to begin reading the Harry Potter series of books; something he has been asking about for a few weeks now. We researched the series and read what some Christians had to say about the themes and decided to give it a try. We told him last night that he could read the first book and we would be reading it, too. Today he came home from school with the first book in the series. We explained to him the warnings the Bible gives against sorcery and witchcraft and pointed out that this is a fictional series. We even showed him a snippet from an interview with the author in which she clearly states that she does not believe in magic and does not want her young readers to view this series as anything but fiction.

My son's personality was also a factor in our decision. You have to know T- he is bright, serious, intense and often quite challenging. He is also quite the little man of God. He loves the Lord, has more of the Scripture committed to memory than I do and has a deep faith for an eight year old. Still, all day today, I felt a little uneasy about it. And when he jumped in the car and cracked open the book before the minivan door had time to close, I thought, "I hope we made the right decision!"

The thing is we do live in this world. And he is an eight year old boy who wants to be able to participate in the lunch room discussions of this popular book series with his friends. And this is the first of many decisions we will have to help him make about the culture and how to be in it but not of it. I pray we have not made a misstep but I also know that if we have, it won't be irreversible.

This post helped me think through this topic today. I have no idea if she would agree with our decision but her musings and conclusions certainly resonated with mine.

The Blind Side

My husband and I went to dinner and a movie on Saturday night. T. had received a gift certificate to our favorite local restaurant for his birthday so we went out for a great meal and then headed to the theater to see The Blind Side. If you have not seen this movie, RUN don't walk to your local theater. And don't finish reading this post, so I don't spoil anything for you :)

I must say that I knew I was going to love this film before the opening credits began to roll because it had all the elements of a great movie in my book: a strong, intelligent woman, her loving husband and family, an underdog and an uplifting storyline of redemption and love. I am sure most know the basic premise of this true story by now- a homeless, African-American teenager from a crack addicted, absent mother is taken in by an upper-class, white Christian family and the lives of everyone involved are changed forever. (Now, because this is a true story, there is a scene or two that contains profanity, violence and alcohol use, but it certainly NOT gratuitous and is central to the story.)

There were many things I loved about The Blind Side but what impacted me the most was how Sean and Leigh Ann Tuohy did not set out to change a boy's life. They had no long-term plan, even after they brought Michael home that cold night to sleep on the couch. They simply did the right thing as each situation presented itself. When they realized he had no other place to stay, they set up a room for him in their home and he became a member of the family. When he needed clothes, they shopped for him. When he needed help on the football field, Leigh Ann went toe to toe with the coach to be sure Michael was understood. When he needed to get his grades up, they hired an oustanding teacher to tutor him. When Leigh Ann's friends raised their poorly veiled "concerns" about Michael living in their home, she put them in their place with haste and class. The Tuohys were, by no means, perfect all the time. In fact, the climactic events of the film are brought about by their missteps along the way.

Throughout the film, I felt quite convicted about the divide in our society between the poor and the rest of us. I felt hopeless about the plight of the millions of children stuck in situations like Michael's, who seem destined for a life of gangs, drugs, prison, and untimely and violent deaths. I felt sorry that we, as a family, are not doing more for the least of these. Don't misunderstand me, the movie has a very happy ending as Michael does, in fact, attend (and gradute on Dean's list) college on a football scholarship and is drafted, in 2009, to the NFL's Baltimore Ravens. So I left the theater with a cheesy grin plastered on my face. However, as we drove home, T. and I spent the time talking about the things I mentioned above and I must say I was feeling increasingly guilty about not doing enough.

As I have thought about these things over the past few days and as I write this post though, I believe God has spoken to me. The message, for me, has been that God is looking for our obedience in our daily lives. He can, and does, do extraordinary things through ordinary people who are simply willing to do the right thing when He presents opportunities. He is looking for vessels through which He can pour out His love and mercy on a perishing world. Sometimes, He will work in extraordinary ways like He did through the Tuohy family and like He does through large ministries and individual missionaries. Other times, He works in everday ways through our simple acts of service to our husbands, our children, our church family. He pours out His love and mercy through us when we care for the sometimes overwhemling needs of our little ones, when we forgive an insult or perceived injustice from our husbands, when we bring a meal to a sick or exhausted brother or sister. One can never know when obedience in one of these simple acts will open a door for another series of simple acts of love and mercy that wind up in an extraordinary outcome. In fact, we should probably expect that!

And that reminds me of this, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified." Romans 8:28-30