He Holds All Things Together

These many weeks, tears have been my food.  One of our children has been struggling and as with the ripples from a stone dropped down deep into a pond, the pain has touched five hearts.  Our family has been pulled and stretched and sometimes I think we just might split right open and apart.  But I am reminded that He is before all things and in Him, all things hold together.  And then I can breathe again and put feet to the cold floor when morning comes again and continue the fight.

And I share again in His sufferings and obey even when it is hard.  The tears still fall but also the hope swells when I read what He has to say about that: I will also share in His glory and His comfort will abound.

And also sometimes I make things worse.  Forgetting what He's teaching me about love and grace and mercy and gentleness and succumbing instead to that which I already know.  Those sins I've rehearsed long- anger and despair and hopelessness.

And He is so tender with me.  Given me so many who love me.  Who let me be sad and vulnerable even though I am usually the strong and confident one.  And who gently tell me the Truth and help me tear down the lies that lead to the pit.  

I'm not sure of many things these days.  This not knowing is outside my comfort zone.  Sometimes my mind wanders too far past today and worry sets in.  But I tell myself that today has enough trouble of its own and He is before all things and I fight back the fretting with thanksgiving and learn what it means to wait upon Him.