On my mind...

This post might feel a little disjointed but since that is how I have been feeling these days, that's o.k.  I am the type of person who likes to have things tied up nicely, decisions made quickly and without too much fuss, a plan of action.  I like black and white.  I am not a big fan of the gray areas in life.  I know it is not very mature but it is the truth.

I have had a lot on my mind lately.  A good friend recently put her house on the market and she and her family plan to move over the summer.  Several more acquaintances from school have let on that they are doing the same.  I have shared before how much we love our school.  It is a wonderful place for our kids to learn and grow- I feel safe sending them there where they can live out their faith in a place that does not condemn it but in fact nurtures it.  They are also getting a great education.  But private school is expensive and next year we will have three children at the school.  We live in an area of the country that is extraordinarily expensive.  Our property taxes are sky high but the school district is sub par so it is not an option.

I guess I have been forcing myself to confront these issues more directly lately as I watch more families make the decision to move.  I have been blessed to be a SAHM all these years but if we stay here I know I will have to get a full time job.  Someone suggested I write out all the questions that have been swirling around in my mind of late as part of the process of sorting it all out and eventually making some decisions with my husband.  I thought it might be interesting to post all my questions here, too.  I will update if and when we make any progress toward resolving these questions.  If you are reading and have any comments or suggestions, feel free to leave them in a comment!

• What are we going to do about where we live/kids’ school? 
• If we stay, will I need to get a full time job? 
• How much would I need to make to cover tuition and allow some money for household help?
• Would I be able to find a position I was happy in that is close to home and has the same/flexible schedule for school?  
• Am I still qualified to work in my field? 
• What might I need to do to get caught up in the field?  
• How can I make the time to catch up, if needed?
• What impact would my working full time have on my family and relationships?
• What about staying in this area and homeschooling?  
• Would we be able to afford a larger home and household help if I homeschooled? 
• Could I handle the demands of homeschooling? 
• How would the kids transition to homeschooling?
• How could I keep their socialization/friends healthy? 
• Up until what age/grade would I homeschool? 
• What would we do at that point? Would we move or do private school again?
• If we move, when would we do that? 
• Would we be able to sell our house? 
• How much is our house worth now? 
• How much could we afford to spend on a new house? 
• How would the kids handle the transition? 
• What if some of the kids are fine but some aren’t?  
• How could I help them with the transition? 
• Where would we go?  How would I narrow these areas down? 

Multitude Monday

Here are some of the things I was thankful for this week:

• 247. Basketball fun!
• 246. Bowling fun!
• 245. Smiles on waterlogged faces
• 243. Having grandparents, aunt and cousin join us on our getaway!
• 242. No cooking or laundry for three days :)
• 241. Weekend trip to an Indoor Waterpark to celebrate the boy's birthdays
• 240. Teaching the kids a Praise Song and Signs at the party
• 239. Third Grade Easter Party Fun!
• 238. Watching my 8 year old move out of his comfort zone on Journal Reading Night at school
• 237. A husband who works locally and could pick up the kids when school closed early unexpectedly
• 236. An outing with friends
• 235. Sunday Afternoon at the park
• 234. My Good Shepherd
• 233. A party to celebrate our basketball team

You can find my running list of 1,000 gifts in my sidebar and read why I got started here.

Praying the Psalms- Psalm 11

Jenny has begun a journey of praying her way through the Psalms that I have decided to join. Each weekend, we will pray through one psalm and post our prayer and/or meditations on that psalm as the Lord leads. Check out her journey and join us in Praying the Psalms.

Psalm 11
Lord,
Help me to remember that you are on the throne.  You have not left Your holy temple.  Your eyes continue to observe and examine each one here on earth.  You are still the righteous Judge. 

Do not let me forget that a time is coming when this upside down world will be turned right side up.  We are under Your grace right now but Your judgment will not tarry forever.  Help me, O God, not to despair about the wrongs in this world, this country, even the circumstance of my life.  Help me to remember that You work all things together for good. 

Give me a heart to affect those in my family, my friends, my community, the world who do not know you so that on the coming day of judgment, they also will be found righteous in Your sight because they have believed.

In Jesus' name.  Amen.

Pondering

I have many thoughts rolling around these days- about freedom, victory, acceptance, guilt, shame- but I have not been able to pour them out here in any form that makes sense yet.  But I did come across this short article that I thought got to the heart of some of my ponderings so I wanted to share the link and an excerpt The Danger of Guilt.

"The most important move you will ever make in your life is the move you make right after you fail God. Will you believe the accuser’s lies and give up in despair, or will you allow yourself to receive the forgiving flow of God’s love?

Do you fear asking his forgiveness because you are not really sure you want to be free from that thing that binds you? Do you want the Lord, yet secretly long for something that is not lawfully yours? God is able to answer sincere prayer, to make you want to do his perfect will. Ask him to make you want to fulfill his will."

Multitude Monday

Here are some of the things I was thankful for this week:

• 232. Time for quiet thoughts on Saturday afternoon
• 231. Breaking out the sidewalk chalk again
• 230. A slow paced but productive day
• 229. Reminding convicted children of God's outrageous love and forgiveness
• 228. Squeals of delight from swinging children
• 227. Coffee with friends
• 226. Day 4 of warm, bright sunshine!
• 225. Watching my SIX year old and his class lead Chapel service
• 224. Hearing God speak and confirm His Words
• 223. Children still little enough to want me to join their play
• 222. Joining the backyard baseball game
• 221. I Am Who God Says I Am (Ephesians 1: 3-8)
• 220. Bringing sin out from the secret places of my soul into the Light
• 219. Relinquinshing pride (little by little)
• 218. The courage to open myself to another sister to minister to her
• 217. Wednesday morning Bible study
• 216. Celebrating my middle son's birthday

You can find my running list of 1,000 gifts in my sidebar and read why I got started here.

Praying the Psalms- Psalm 10

Jenny has begun a journey of praying her way through the Psalms that I have decided to join. Each weekend, we will pray through one psalm and post our prayer and/or meditations on that psalm as the Lord leads. Check out her journey and join us in Praying the Psalms.

Psalm 10
Lord,
I am so much like this psalmist.  I spend far too much time despairing over where You are and why You have not delivered me from any given trial.  I spend far too much energy stroking my own pride by denouncing in my heart the missteps and wickedness of others. 

I am so grateful for Your Word and Your Spirit, God.  It is because of these gifts that I do eventually turn to You with my troubles.  I return from afar off and remember that yes, You DO hear "the desire of the afflicted; You encourage them, and You listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed."  And I receive Your peace.

Let Your Word change me more each day!

In Jesus' Name.  Amen.

Simple Woman's Daybook- March 17, 2010

From Natalie's Daybook... March 17, 2010

Outside my window...  a new day is dawning, a clear sky, the promise of warm sunshine

I am thinking...  I wish I could write like this

I am thankful for...  the celebration we had yesterday for my middle son's birthday

I am wearing...  black pants and a Wild Olive Tee

I am remembering...  If I ask according to His Word and His will, it is done!!!

I am going...  to watch my son's Kindergarten class lead the Chapel service at school this morning

I am currently reading...  A Woman's Heart: God's Dwelling Place and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azcaban (reading it before I allow my 8 year old to read it)

I am hoping...  to soon see more change and growth and maturity in myself

On my mind...  what does it mean to be accepted in the Beloved?  how does believing that change one's daily attitudes and behaviors?

Noticing that...  God does speak when I stay quiet and still

Pondering these words... "I am Who God says I am- In love, I am blessed, chosen adopted, accepted, redeemed, forgiven."  Beth Moore, Believing God

From the kitchen... Something simple since we have a busy day- perhaps Turkey Tacos

Around the house... we are enjoying our new spaces

One of my favorite things...  blogging

From my picture journal...  my SIX year old baby

You can read more daybooks here.